AIDS Project of Southern Vermont

Role Model Stories

When people share their stories about HIV prevention and other health and life issues, they give powerful support to others who have similar concerns and experiences. Such stories are even more effective when they are told by people who live in our own communities and who have been successful in making healthy behavioral choices.Young Woman with signs - Got Assertiveness?

That’s what role model stories are about: building on the strength of shared stories about successful safer sex behaviors for the betterment of others in our communities.

Individuals are informally interviewed one-on-one, anonymously, in a place that is convenient and comfortable for them. Two confidential interviews are offered: the initial interview, and a follow-up for the storyteller to review the final story for approval before publication.

Once approved by the storyteller through a signed release, the story is then printed and distributed into the community by peer outreach workers, displayed at sponsoring business and agency locations, and handed out at our Safe Talk women’s gatherings.

I Finally Got the Gumption!

I am a 50 year old woman. In my young adulthood I began doing a lot of drugs and started to have sex with a lot of people. In looking back, what I was really looking for was love and connection and didn’t have the skill to get it. My father was an alcoholic. I was a lonely kid. Some of the one-nighters weren’t very good, but I kept it up. HIV wasn’t on my radar; the issue was not to get pregnant….We were definitely taught to not get pregnant. “You do that, you will mess up your life for sure.” So, I was on the pill; everyone was taking the pill, but we were ignorant of STDs.

It was 12 years later that I started getting healthy about relationships.

After twelve years of a marriage to a man who was an emotionally abusive and unavailable alcoholic, it was time. But I finally got the gumption to get out, after a daughter, some emotional abuse, and a good friend who expressed her concern and support. I went back to school and connected with other women who were mentors. I got a job to support myself. I got an HIV test.

I went a long time before getting in a new relationship, but finally I began dating a new guy. It was a long period of time before we had sex. When it looked like we might be moving toward sex, I gave him such a hard time. I stood by what I wanted and expressed what I didn’t want. I lectured, “I am not going to have sex with you if you’re not going to wear a condom!” “You will have to buy them, wear them, and use them correctly. You will also go get an HIV test.”

He looked at me and said, to my surprise, “I’ll do whatever you want. I love you, and if that’s what we need to do, fine.” WOW! This is what love sounds like! We had taken the time to get to know each other. Though I had become a little bitter and hard, he kept coming back for more. He and I are still together. There is always hope for change.

To offer your own unique story, contact Sue Conley at hivwomen@sover.net or at 802 254-4444.